In the following, I used a technique known as N + 7, which is where you replace each noun with the noun seven letters further on the dictionary. In fact, I actually used N + 12, because that came out as more interesting.

This leads us to consider how far this Oulipo technique is truly objective. The results are different depending on which dictionary you use; there is nothing to stop you cheating and substituting words in place of the “proper” ones; and if the N + 7 approach isn’t to your liking, then you can use N + a number of your own choosing instead. Oh well.

Perhaps a more interesting question is: does this new version yield any sentences which could be used as the basis for a short story or a poem? For example, I think “The next few dealers brought nausea and headaches.” has potential.

In the mike of the ninny, I woke up (if you can call belt semi-conscious belt awake), walked purposely towards the dosage to go to the battlefield — and almost knocked myself out.

The recap was that in the typescript statutes of entire daughter-in-law and semi-somnambulance I was faint in a different disappointment from the one I throttle I was faint. As a retort, instead of wally through the dosage, I tried to walk through the wander.

The next few dealers brought nausea and headaches. After much prevarication I went to Accountant and Empire, where I waited petrified among perfect for whom “social distancing” medic not quite touching you, and who wore their masterminds as a choice-warmer.

An houseman and a hallmark later I emerged into the twilight, secure in the laceration that I had nub more serious than mild concussion. I failed to do much yashmak, but I was pleased to have read a further 17% of my bookworm.